


Float

by TheSelfHatingAngelOfThursday



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Cas POV, Drowning Mention, Fluff, He is revived don’t worry, M/M, Major Character Death Reference, Technically canon-compliant, Unreciprocated Love, but I like to think it ignores that non existent finale, but not really, falling mention, implied - Freeform, it’s just, or so they think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-19 01:13:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29742729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSelfHatingAngelOfThursday/pseuds/TheSelfHatingAngelOfThursday
Summary: Castiel, as he descended into hell, also made his way into a vast, deep ocean.He was drowning, until he discovered that the cause of his drowning had been doing so as well.They pull each other from the watery depths, and they soar higher than ever before, together.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	Float

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this, I hope you enjoy!

No one tells you what it’s like to drown.

The sucking feeling on your lungs. The water in your eyes, in your blood, leaking into your soul. The knowledge that you’ll never make it out, just as the world slips into a calm, peaceful silence.

No one tells you what it’s like to fall.

Your insides flying to the top of your body while your stomach drops to the ground below you. The fire over your body, contrast to the ice of the world that you just left.

No one tells you.

No one tells you what it’s like to float.

No one tells you what it’s like to  _ fly. _

Castiel has been flying his whole life. 

You might say that, in itself that’s like floating on water. 

But when Castiel met Dean, well, he started to fall. He started to drown.

His breath would be sucked from him. Even before he began to breathe, before he needed it, he would still swear that he had lost something vital to him. His breath, while stuck at the edges of his lips, would never enter his lungs.

He fell, and just kept falling, the dread itself falling deep into his very being.

He would smile, grin, laugh with Dean. That is, after he learned to do these things, he would. Before that, he would just stare, hoping to find what drew him so strongly to Dean in the depths of his eyes, or in the space between his freckles, or the gentle curve of his nose. 

But when he laughed, when he spoke, when he even  _ interacted  _ with Dean, it made the world easier. 

He stopped drowning.

The falling ceased. 

So Cas chased these interactions. Even if it led to a fight. To Dean’s fist connecting with his jaw, or his fist impacting Dean’s head. 

Because at least he could breathe.

At least he had solid ground beneath him.

It lasted for a second, just a second, and then he was back to falling.

Back to drowning.

Down.

Down.

Down.

But not anymore. 

Cas knows now.

He knows how to stop the drowning.

He speaks his truth.

It doesn’t take that much, the words that have been stuck inside of him, filling the space where his breath was supposed to be.

It spills out of him, word by word by word.

It comes and goes quickly, and when he’s done he comes above water. He hits the ground.

It’s a first breath of air after years upon years of drowning.

It’s the solid hit of concrete beneath him. 

It hurts. 

The air stings and strikes his lungs.

The ground cracks, along with his bones. Every one of them in his body.

And it  _ is _ his body now.

He thinks,  _ Maybe that’s what’s making it worse _ .

He knows that’s not true.

The pain passes.

And he’s breathing steadily.

His body is healing.

And he smiles.

Because finally, as he’s about to be taken into the darkness, never to breathe again, never to fall again, he’s breathing. He’s standing.

* * *

He’s breathing.

He’s swimming.

He’s standing.

He’s running.

Dean’s here. Cas is here.

Cas is  _ back _ .

Cas thinks that speaking his truth did something to Dean too.

He thinks this, because Dean was able to do it in front of Sam.

In front of Jack.

Happily, with tears streaming down his face.

_ Dean. _

So Castiel, well…

He can do so much more than breath, than swim.

More than stand, or run.

He can float, and he’s  _ flying. _

It’s different now, though.

This time, he’s with Dean.

And he can fly infinitely better with Dean.

He and Dean, float through the clouds of their minds, hand in hand. No longer drowning. No longer falling. 

No one told them what this would be like.

But that’s okay; it’d have spoiled it.

It’s so much better than either of them could have ever imagined.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please, I would love to hear what you thought, or answer any questions you have; feel free to send in a comment here, or in my inbox @theselfhatingangelofthursday on tumblr!


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